Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier: Are you 18?
Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
Medical Report of Kenneth Bianchi (one of the Hillside Stranglers)
The Honorable Jack S. Kurtz
Judge of the Superior Court
Whatcom County Courthouse
Bellingham, Washington 98225
Re: Kenneth A. Bianchi
Case No. 10116
Supplemental Report No. l
Dear Judge Kurtz:
The following is a review, with my comments, of various documents sent to me regarding Mr. Bianchi. I have separated them into three groups, Medical-Psychiatric Reports, School Reports, and Other Documents. They are listed in chronological order to provide you with the information as it developed in time. The only changes I have made in transcribing are to spell out medical shorthand, for clarity.
RALPH B. ALLISON, M. D.
A. Children’s Hospital, Los Angeles, California, 5/22/51 through 11/25/54: Ken Bianchi was three years old when first taken by his mother to this hospital with multiple complaints, including sweating at night, not going to sleep at night, and wetting his bed five times in the previous four months. A note, on the first medical clinic visit, included a comment: “Mother needs help”.
On 11/23/54, he was admitted because of acute laryngitis and discharged on 11/25/54. In the doctor’s progress notes, it is noted that previously the mother had been seen and instructed to return the child for allergic workup but had failed to do so. The discharge diagnosis was “Laryngotracheitis, acute, organisms unknown”.
B. Report from the Los Angeles Unified School District, regarding the fall that Kenneth Bianchi took on January 2, 1957, when he sustained an injury at the Century Park School after falling from a jungle gym.
At that time, his parents filed suit against the school for the amounts of $5,000, having sustained the cost in his care of some $30.00.
He was absent for two days from school and the statement of accident was as follows:
"While climbing down jungle gym, he slipped and fell to sand (may have struck lowest rung as he landed). Said he was playing ‘Gorilla’ and someone made a noise which frightened him."
"The treatment was as follows:"
"Teacher held a wet towel under upper lip ‘til bleeding stopped. Child sent to office and checked by Principal, Mrs. Brady. Child taken to doctor and x-ray taken."
There is a letter following that, by Mr. and Mrs. Bianchi, advising the school district that they were filing suit, indicating that they had notified the school in writing that Kenneth was prone to falls and that he had difficulty with his sense of balance.
C. Letter dated August 12, 1957, to Ralph Bookman, MD., of Beverly Hills, California, from another doctor, whose name is not legible. This is regarding examination of Kenneth Bianchi at the age of six. The history is given as follows:
"About a year ago his mother began to notice spells where the child would roll his eyes backwards, this occurred several times a day and would last a moment or so. This continued until March, 1956, and was associated with a slight shaking of his head. About this time he was given allergy tests to run down the cause of his chronic nose and throat troubles and during the time he was taking the tests the eye-rolling stopped. By the time the tests were completed, the eye-rolling recurred. He was given treatments for six months during which time he was all right. Last August, the familv went back east and the mother states that there were thunder stoms [sic] along the way which seemed to frighten him and also, there had been a death in the family; she felt that the two factors were combined and he may have become nervous from the tension. He began to have eye-rolling movements again and continued until October. He was free of these movements until May, 1957. The mother states the eyes rolled backwards last week quite severely. She says the child was recently frightened when a babysitter put him to bed and closed the door and this brought on the eye-rolling again. This child has been seen by Dr. C. Weeks, ophthalmologist who told the parents he thought that this was a nervous habit that the boy had developed. The mother states the child is not clumsy but usually when he falls he will fall on his face. She had to stop him from riding his bicycle because he fell from it so frequently. Recently, * he had a fever because of a misplaced front tooth in the upper part of his mouth, however, this has subsided, as the tooth has since been removed. The mother states the child has never lost consciousness and that he has never appeared to be in a ‘dreamy’ state. She reads all she can as a layman in magazines, etc., regarding epilepsia, and has never noted any of these symptoms or signs of epilepsia in the child."
"Then the physical and neurological examinations are reported, which are all quite within normal limits. His conclusions are as follows:"
"I have discussed the problem with the child’s parents and informed them that there is no evidence of involvement of the centralor peripheral nervous system. The mother has been informed in the past that the child had a mild form of epilepsia which, no doubt, has worried her considerably. She has never been aware of his exhibiting any ‘dreamy’ states. The eye-rolling apparently occurs when the child is frightened or possibly it is a habit which the child developed to attract attention, which was what was suggested to them by Dr. Weeks. The mother is quite high strung and she has to work at night. She tries to play with the child, and may also be too over-protective. The mother states that the child’s father lets the boy do anything he wishes, and there is quite possibly a conflict between the parents in their behavior and attitude toward this child."
"I do not feel there is significant clinical evidence or, by the history obtained, to warrant their spending money for the electro-encephalogram, which in the past has been normal, or x-rays of the skull. It might be advisable to give the child a prescription of phenobarbital as he is quite active and jumpy. I am sorry I have no further suggestions at this time. I will be glad to re-examine him at some future date, if you so desire."
This material reports the overindulgence of the mother, the conflict between mother and father, and the resultant somatic symptoms of this young and budding hysteric at the age of six.
D. Letter from Dr. John Fitzgerald, Rochester, New York, anophthalmologist, regarding his examination of Ken on November 7, 1958.
The parents complained that his eyes were rolling up and out of his head. He had been seen by another ophthalmologist, Dr. Hobart Learner, who recommended a psychiatric evaluation. This examination was apparently within normal limits, except for a small esophoria, and his best corrected vision was 100% for both near and far.
E. Rochester General Hospital, Rochester, New York, 12/18/58:
This is a write up of a hospital admission at age seven, for urinary dribbling. The discharge diagnoses were: “1) Horseshoe kidney and 2) Diverticulum of the bladder.’ The present illness was reported as follows:
"This child (a 7-year-old male) was adopted by the informant at the age of 3 months. This history is difficult to obtain and required considerable direct questioning. I believe history to be fairly reliable."
"This child’s present illness dates back to age 5 years when while at kindergarten he fell from a jungle-gym and struck his nose. For about 1 month following this he ‘wet his pants ’ — (but not at night). This disappeared and the child did well until March and April of this year after the family returned from California when the symptoms reappeared but subsided spontaneously."
"In Sept. of 1958 two small children were boarded in this home for about 1 month. I saw the mother and these children at Clinic and was introduced to Kenneth at that time, These children were removed from the home in October and following this Kenneth again wet his pants for about 1 month and about this time began making purposeless movements of hands & face. The urinary symptoms disappeared after about 1 month, only to return last week. The purposeless movements have persisted. Mother says the child has ‘dribbling’ but that he wets his pants 6-7 times from after school until bedtime. He appears unaware of what is going on. He does not wet bed at night. No history of dysuria but he does drink a lot of water."
"One comment I can make on this is in regard to the purposeless movements. This could be what are called psychological automatisms, which have been found and studied quite extensively, in the case of multiple personalities, at the VA Hospital in Topeka, Kansas, by Dr. Joel Brende, Chief of the Outpatient Clinic. Dr. Brende has made extensive video taping of his patient, who shows these purposeless movements, which actually are very symbolic and meaningful from an unconscious psychological standpoint of the patient. There is an extensive history of the finding of such movements in persons with the severe hysterical personalities that lead to multiple personalities and Dr. Brende has collected a great deal of this historical material in the process of his investigation."
"The comment that he appears unaware of what is going on might be interpreted as meaning that Ken was going into dissociative states at that time or that he unconsciously denied the problems to himself."
"Physical Examination: Quiet and apprehensive seven-year-old, white male who continually makes purposeless movements of head and hands. The child is polite and appears to be somewhat passive."(All physical findings were normal).
"Neurological: Exam unsatisfactory because of lack of cooperation (child could not relax)."
"IMPRESSION: It is most easy to label this whole Picture as functional but the background is present and the mother appears to associate each episode with some specific event, but we must rule out a number of other diseases, i.e. diabetes mellitus, neurologic disease involving the sphincter, hypertonia, bladder infection."
"It is difficult to find an illness which would explain both sets of symptoms. I believe Sydenham’s chorea might, or child could have two problems. Signed … C . H . . McMurphy, M.D."
"A further note by Dr. Townsend states "This is a complicated psychiatric environment but I felt we should be sure of the organic elements, such as overflow incontinence, before approaching the mother with this problem. I doubt that she will accept any but an organic cause and yet, he has incontinence, tics and emotional immaturity."
"And the incontinence is peculiar—never at night—always after some stress (the mother says a ‘physical stress’ and the evidence seems to indicate ‘emotional’)."
"On 12/17/58, Dr. Townsend noted, "The mother called me, rather late about the child’s care—‘He is sensitive’—and many remarks which make me feel that she is an unstable person. She uses questioning of the boy to test the accuracy of the house-staff saying’ He’s been whipped when he lies so he wouldn’t lie to me."
"She rejects any functional diagnosis. I will have Mrs. Horton see the home and give her report. I have not seen the father and have no knowledge of his reactions."
"On 12/18/58, the discharge summary notes: "This patient was discharged against advice and consent."
"This seven-year-old, white male was admitted on 12/15/58 with a chief complaint of urinary dribbling and of ‘unusual movements of head and hands’. This child was adopted at the age of 3 months. Toilet trained at less than two years. The mother dated onset of urinary difficulties back to age five years when, following a fall, child had incontinence for 1 month. The family was living in California at that time. The second episode lasted about 2 months and occurred in March & April 1958. Present episode started in Nov. this year when two other children who had been boarded at the home left. Also at the same time the patient began to make purposeless movements of arms, hands and face. There had been no dysuria or frequency."
"Physical Examination on admission was not remarkable except for the first day the clothes were continually wet and the child had purposeless movements of hands and head. These movements and the dribbling markedly improved after the first day."
"IVP done on 12/17 revealed bilateral hydroureter and a horse shoe kidney. Blood pressures on 12/18 revealed Pressures from 150/90 to 110/70."
"On the second hospital day, the mother’s attitude toward the hospital became very belligerent. She was disturbed because it had not been explained to her why Kenneth’s fluids had been restricted (for IVP). She threatened to discharge child against advice. Dr. Townsend pursuaded her to leave the child for IVP’s but day following, in spite of her talking with Dr. Townsend, she signed child out against advice."
"IMPRESSION: 1) Bilateral hydroureter.
2) Horseshoe kidney.
3) Diverticulum of the bladder.
Signed: C.H.McMurphy, M.D.”
A special addenda to final note was dictated by Edward H. Townsend, Jr., M.D. as follows:
"This addenda to Dr. McMurphy’s excellent final note is written in view of the fact that the Mother signed the child out against advice and it seemed advisable for the hospital records to have all facts concerning the case in their proper prospective. This family has been known for many years to social service in many areas of the country as well as to several physicians in the city. It is doubtful whether the discovery of a horse-shoe kidney and diverticulum of the bladder can be considered as a service to this child since the mother hence forth will completely reject any functional disturbances that might also exist. During the hospitalization there was no evidence that the genitourinary anomalies referred to above caused any symptomatology and the possibility of an ‘over-flow bladder; seems remote in view of the fact that only two cc. of residual urine were catheterized after the boy had voided, All laboratory work at the hospital and in the office was negative except for this one IVP. Retrograde investigation is still in order and the family were advised that as soon as the holidays were over it is imperative that Kenneth be thoroughly investigated to make sure that further damage, if any exists at all, to his kidneys be avoided."
"The relationship between this boy and his mother leave a lot to be desired. Among the many complaints Mrs, Bianchi had about the hospital was that the nurses asked him to wash his feet as well as take care of himself after going to the toilet. When I pointed out to Mrs. Bianchi that it was customary for a boy of his age to have some independence in his toiletry, she said that he didn’t know anything about any of this and she didn’t intend that he should take care of himself—and then almost hysterically she stated that she * would take care of him until she was unable to do so physically. She used questioning of the boy to test accuracy of physicians and the nurses alike and when he said something she accepted it as the truth though there seared at times doubt as to the veracity of his statements. The boy has been seem [sic] by psychiatrists in the past, especially in California, but the mother refused to believe that anything but organic illness exists at this time and feels that she must protect him. In brief, the relationship between these two might be considered pathological. It is of interest that in the years of contact with this boy, I have never seen or met or heard the father’s opinion in these matters."
"Of interest also in the relationship between these two are several tics which he manifests, especially with reference to his eyes. Mrs. Bianchi has been to several eye doctors about this convinced that there is an organic lesion in the eye and I believe she was told that he had 20/20 vision but if he wanted to wear glasses he could. I have no idea what the glasses consist of."
"As pointed out in the text of this admission the incontinence and soilage follow a peculiar pattern that does not seem consistent with organic genito-urinary disease. The mother told me in no uncertain terms that she would not submit to any psychiatric help or care until she herself decided that this was essential for Kenneth."
"All of this occurs in a child who has been adopted and there must have been some doubt in the original proceedings for adoption because final papers were delayed for some period of time. It is also of interest that the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Children is cognizant of this woman’s activities and Mrs. Horton of Social Services states that she has taken care of other children but that the SPCC removed the children from her home for reasons that are unknown to me."
"The reason for me setting all of this forth is that this is a situation loaded with difficulties for the hospital should they assume responsibility for medical care when the mother reapplies, if she does. However, the boy does have organic pathologv and I feel we are medically obligated to pursue this should she seek ad vice for this particular problem. Signed: Edward H. Townsend, Jr., M.D."
I feel that Dr. Townsend’s comments are quite self-explanatory and indicate the nature of the pathological relationship that existed as best they could perceive it. We also have the unanswered question of abuse to other foster children.
F. The Genesee Hospital, Rochester, New York, 11/30/60 Discharge note is unreadable. But, a letter of 12/2/60 by Sidney Feyder, M.D., indicates he admitted Ken to this * hospital on November 28, 1960, and did a cystoscopy and retrograde pyelogram under general anesthesia. (The hospital reports a meatotomy was done—cutting of constrictions of the urethra at the tip of the penis.) He found the bladder “normal except for a very mild degree of generalized hypertrophy and a very slight but definite contracture at the vesical neck…Retrograde pyelograms revealed a horseshoe kidney.” Treatment of his incontinence with periodic urethral dilatations was advised.
G. Letter from George K. Anderson, M.D., of Rochester, New York, to Dr. Sullivan of the DePaul Clinic. On July 4, 1962, he says:
"I have known this boy for nearly 2 years now, first encountering him with the complaint of repeatedly wetting himself during the day. He had GU studies done with the finding of a horseshoe kidney and an irritated urethra. He has been seen several times in this office subsequently, all for some non-organic complaint. First, it was a nervous tic of the head, then pain in the abdomen over a week’s time, then pains in the legs. Finally I and two nose and throat doctors were plagued with the complaint of persistent clearing of the throat and frequent dry barking cough but we were unable to find any significant evidence of disease in this area. "
Kenneth has been moved from one school to another, twice now I believe, because of difficulty in getting along with the teachers. His mother believed that the teachers made him nervous.
"As I have seen him in examination he does not appear to be apprehensive and nervous but I wonder how much the mother exaggerates or even is a contributing factor to his trouble. In general I have found him to be a quite healthy boy aside from the psychosomatic difficulties. Signed: George K. Anderson, M.D."
" Again we have a letter commenting about psychosomatic difficulties and non-organic complaints, all marks of the hysterical personality disorder. Again we have behavioral problems in school which cause his mother to move him from school to school. We have no specific description of these behavioral difficulties in school, but certainly the doctors were aware of trouble in that area."
H. The DePaul Clinic, April of 1966
Most of this material is the raw material for the psychological testing given to Kenneth, or possibly to Steve (as we later learned), and is not interpretable by me.
Notes of the first visit indicate he complained of facial and upper body twitches. A visit by Mrs. Bianchi on 4/26/66, indicates complaints of peer relationship problems and that he brings out * hostility in his peers. His father died suddenly July, 1965, and apparently Kenneth refused to cry. The mother was thought to be over-involved, threatening, critical, and had her own needs met now with the son. Mother was seductive, stroking her leg with her fingers, with her blouse being pulled down frequently with an open neck. She showed lots of concerns about his acting out sexually but she provoked it. She hit Ken with a shower hose and showed him sex magazines. It was felt there were Oedipal problems, with the mother provocative and wanting love.
At the age of 12, Ken took a six-year-old girl’s pants down. Mother was phobic about the son’s acting out potential and she got sexual satisfaction out of prying.
Here we do have some more indication of severe pathology between mother and son, with the question of sexual seductiveness especially noted after the father’s death. There is also raised a question of psychodynamics regarding all of this attention to his urinary tract, manipulations of his penis, etc., and tied in with the behavior of his mother paying so much attention to his penis and urinary practices. She brought in the doctors, who stuck probes up his penis, into his bladder, and then argued with mother about what was wrong. One would certainly wonder, with the eventual development of rape as his way of hurting women, whether or not this type of behavior might have stemmed from what he saw as a rape by his mother, via the doctors, so that he was getting back at women in the way that she had continually had him traumatized with her alleged attempts to get medical care for his nervous dribbling. This is only conjecture but I think it is something that psychoanalysts could cogitate about for a long time.
A. Report of the City School District of Rochester, New York, regarding his elementary school attendance in 1962. Report dated 1/24/62 said:
"Tries hard to make friends but needs to learn more acceptable ways. Emotional problems due to home."
" Also noted:"
"Poor work habits. Lacks concentration powers and perseverance to finish work."
" Here again, we note comments from school about difficulties he had in his work and these were attributed to then by the home stresses."
A report from Gates-Chili Senior High School, Rochester, New York, for 1967-69, contains a note in the Record of Illnesses that * states:
"1966-67: Absent 30 days. Definitely minor ailments. Most of time no one home when call is made."
"1968-69: Absent 26 days. Mother keeps him home when other boys at school pick on him."
"The story continues into high school of an overprotective mother who lets him escape, supporting the pattern of running away whenever problems are too great."
B. Report from McQuaid Jesuit High School, Rochester, New York, for 1966, shows that he has a poor academic record, as he had not been in history class enough to receive any marks but one small quiz grade. The comments were:
"He makes a habit of being absent. He also has a home problem that the student advisor is keenly aware of."
"Comment by the Assistant Principal was:"
"Rebelling against his mother. No male influence at home. Needs a strong man’s influence to work with him."
"The counselor reported:"
"Mother is neurotic. Recently widowed. Boy is searching for identity and security."
"A comment from his math teacher is:"
"I am not sure he is making a sincere effort, it wouldn’t be sufficient anyway."
A. The Rochester Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, letter of September 15, 1962, to Dr. Sullivan of the DePaul Clinic. Important sections are as follows:
"According to the SPCC case worker, father was dominated by mother. He provided adequately for his family, holding a workman’s job, but let himself be pushed beyond his financial capabilities by mother. Worker also found father understanding of mother’s physical and emotional problems. Father, himself, was rejected by the military service because of deep phobia about worms and insects. He also had a pronounced speech defect."
"Worker found mother to be a deeply disturbed person, socially * ambitious, dissatisfied, unsure, opinionated and overly protective. Mother seemed guilt-ridden by her failure to have children. She had a hysterectomy in 1951 and suffered post-operative depression. The possibility of adoption of a child was suggested to mother, This solution to her dissatisfaction was embraced by her with great enthusiasm and religious fervor. Worker felt that mother had smothered this adopted son in medical attention and maternal concern from the moment of adoption, at the age of three months."
"According to mother this boy was never a well child, and mother has focused all of her attention on him, having him seen by an endless procession of doctors in Rochester, among them being Dr. Edward Townsend, Dr. David Parker, Dr. Benjamin, Dr. Garvey, and doctors in Los Angeles, Cal. The parents lived in Los Angeles before they settled here. Mother seemed to feel that she was qualified to tell the doctors what to do, has disagreed with everything said by the doctors and was always searching for some doctor who would think and do what she wanted done."
"Mother’s ambitious effort to place in a higher strata of society met with financial disaster. Soon after our initial contact with this family, the parents lost the middle class home they were attempting to buy, and had to move into less desirable quarters. Mother went to work. Worker observed that during the time mother held a job, mother, as well as the boy, benefitted emotionally Mother was unwilling to accept the suggestion that possibly she, as well as the boy, might need psychiatric treatment, rather than medical treatment, and has shopped around for doctors endlessly."
"During the time that we were active with the family, psychiatric opinion was that the mother was not capable of following through with a plan of treatment for herself or the boy psychiatrically at that time."
"During the time this agent was active with the family, the parents were attempting to buy a house on Wildwood Drive in Greece, that was beyond father’s budget. Father worked at American Brake Shoe Company. Earlier, mother and father had lived in California for a few years, after their marriage in 1941. They later returned to Rochester. In 1951 mother had a hysterectomy and was emotionally disturbed. The prospect of adopting a child made mother very happy, and father agreed to this. In 1952 they adopted Kenneth Alessio, making the arrangements with the child’s natural mother and having the papers signed before Judge Meagher."
"Finally, it became evident to the family that they could not pay their bills and keep up payments on the house they were buying. In 9/59, the family disposed of the home and moved to 65 Villa Street. In the meantime mother took a job at Bell Aircraft Company to help alleviate the family’s financial difficulties. Arrangements were made for the boy to be cared for by a neighbor, and during this period *the family functioned smoothly. Kenneth was noted to be markedly better, with the enuresis disappearing. The family tensions were greatly reduced with mother working and out of the house. Father seemed to be happy with the new location and the elimination of his financial worries."
"Kenneth, who was adopted at the age of 3 months, has always been a medical problem. He has been subject to fits of dizziness, has always had a poor sense of balance, and has had several falls, twice breaking his nose, according to mother. Worker was also in formed that the child sometimes loses control of his eye muscles, and that mother had him tested for epilepsy, because of this. The result of this test was negative. The child also has had a severe daytime enuresis problem."
"To correct this condition, mother has had him seen by doctors and given the child exhaustive medical attention, culminating in an operation in 1959. However, the operation did not alleviate the enuresis. The boy has also been seen at Strong Memorial Psychiatric Clinic. At the clinic, through Intake Evaluation, it was felt that the boy’s problem was emotional, rather than physical, and that there was nothing organically wrong with the child. Signed: Guy D. Harris, Executive Director."
This letter seems rather self-explanatory and I feel it supports the other information available.
B. Interview with Bonnie Waldrop, by Dean Brett, on May 24, 1979. Bonnie is the step-sister of Kelli Boyd, Ken’s girlfriend. One part discusses how she was feeling one time when Ken was there at the house but she felt it just wasn’t him. There was something totally different about him and it was really weird. Another episode was where she found a note in a coat hanging in the closet. This note appeared to be in Ken’s handwriting but it did not seem to have been written by him, since it was signed Steven Thomas Walker, and said:
"To Whom it May Concern: Enclosed you will find $90.00 for copies of my school diplomas from (and then there is a big blank) … of which you should have copies of my transcripts in your files because I have purchased copies from you before. Respectfully, Steven Thomas Walker."
"Down at the bottom of this page is "Thomas Steven Walker’ written and then crossed out again. This note was found by Kelli Boyd on 3/23/79, as noted by her signature."
This is interesting, because it would seem quite incongruous that the Steve Walker I met would care at all about his school diplomas. There was also the letter that Kelli and Ken found which indicated Steve Walker was writing to Cambridge University in England, applying for admission. None of this would fit the personality pattern of a killer and I wonder what that means.
We also have Bonnie’s statement to the Police, discussing the activities on the date of the homicide. She stated that she was at the house with Kelli at about 5:35 when Ken walked in and she felt very weird about him. He said he had to go out and changed his clothes. Then he came, she became nervous and there was just something wrong. When he left she didn’t feel comfortable being there anymore, and she left. This girl describes herself as a rather highly sensitive person who can pick up feelings in other people. Certainly it is reasonable to think that she picked up the murderous feelings that Steve was carrying around at the time he changed his clothes, on his way out to kill these two girls.
When I am doing therapy when a hostile, murderous personality is about ready to come out, I can feel the presence and am, at least intellectually, frightened, even though I try not to act in a frightened way. I know that the dangerous one is on his way out, even before he has made his appearance. I can pick up some type of message from the patient and feel the hatred before there is anything physical to see or hear.
C Kenneth Bianchi ’ s diary while incarcerated Dr. Watkins first saw him on March 21. 1979 and March 22, 1979, during which visits, under hypnosis, the Steve alter personality appeared and, at the end of the second session Dr. Watkins told him that he would gradually become aware of Steve in a time and manner in which he could cope with it. He was then seen by Ronald Markham, M.D., a psychiatrist from Los Angeles, on March 28, 1979. There is a note, after March 27:
"It seems to me, now that I think of it, that my mom really controlled all my relationships as friends—some with good reason - many without."
He also notes a period of dissociation where he was going to visit a friend and the next thing he could remember was sitting on the steps of his friend’s house and they weren’t home. He was inside but he didn’t know how he ended up there.
Two days after Dr. Markham’s visit, on the night of March 30, 1979, he states that he woke up some time after going to bed at midnight and was on the floor by the toilet. Here again, we have some type of sleep disturbance which might be a type of sleepwalking or dissociative episode.
On Page 7, he reports that when he was in California he used to stop over at his cousin Angelo’s house and Angelo would often t give him a real weird look and smile. After thinking about this, he dreamed about Angelo on April 1, 1979, being at Angelo’s house, where he was surrounded by naked girls who didn’t seem to move, since they were lifeless, almost unreal, but not. He felt a nudge, looked down and was sitting on a girl, the same as the rest. He heard cries from Angelo’s spare bedroom and that’s when he woke up from the dream.
Obviously, he was beginning to get some breakthrough of the amnesia of the killings in Los Angeles that he and Angelo participated in together in Angelo’s house.
In an April 2 dream, he reported being in an old fort in another country, with a machine-gun, shooting at people dressed like soldiers and, as he hit them, they disappeared and somebody grabbed him.
This, again, is a dream that is filtered and modified but certainly does relate him to killing others.
On April 4, he is thinking about the name “Steve” and thinks it must be Steve Adams, who was someone he knew. The pressure in his head related to that name had been going on for about five days, since the 29th of March, about one week after Dr. Watkins’ visit. Also on April 4, he noted that he picked himself up from underneath his bed and didn’t know what he was doing there. This again may have been a dissociative episode.
His April 5 dream is again related to death, where he saw a man at his feet, dying of a head injury.
His April 6 dream was walking through a crowd with no one able to see him and no one caring. He couldn’t talk or touch anything or anyone. This sounds as if he were describing himself being carried through life in his body by somebody else and certainly could be a description of what it is like to have your body taken over by an alter-personality and still be aware of the outside world.
On April 10, he had a dream of a woman putting his hands over a kitchen stove fire while he was young. He was being punished for coming into the house late. This certainly would sound like his experiences with his mother being revived.
On April 11, the name “Steve” keeps popping into his head but he doesn’t connect it to anything.
It is to be noted that an MMPI was given him before April 14, 1979, by Mr. Johnson. I will have this test rerun through the Behaviordyne computer and see how it compares to the CPI which was done on approximately April 17, 1979, before my visit on April 18 and 19, 1979.
On April 15, after the MMPI was done, he reports an awareness of Steve.
This very vivid awareness of the alter-personality, Steve, occurred after the MMPI, before the CPI, and before my visit. However, it was after the visit of Dr. Watkins and appears to be Following the post-hypnotic suggestion that he become aware of Steve in a safe fashion. It took about three weeks for him to have this awareness following the visit by Dr. Watkins.
On April 14, he had a dream of his mother yelling and screaming while he was backing down some stairs and she was slowly pursuing him.
Then on April 15, after the MMPI and before the CPI was done, he has another dream of fighting with Steve. See Page 5 of my main report.
On April 16, he had another dream of a similar nature.
Kenneth Bianchi: Medical Report: Poetry
On April 17, he wrote a poem and, one thing I must note is that just about every multiple personality I have known has been a poet and they express themselves very well through poetry and quite frequently produce a lot of it. The poem is as follows:
my stomach hurts
there’s no place to run
it was so easy to run away
I feel strong, in control
but still unsure
of someone I have come to know,
someone I don’t understand
as well as I know
myself … now .
If only I could understand
what brought us together.
I am so alone now, somewhat
I feel naked.
I’m knowing me.
I wish I were free of him.
I want help,
I don’t care for him
and he doesn’t like me.
I feared confinement but
I am thankful for it now.”
On April 17, the day before I first saw him, he noted:
"I had a dream I met a man, can’t remember what he looked like just that he was a man. He had one hand on my shoulder, it was his left hand. He said with concerned assurance that dealing with my mother wasn’t enough, I must break clean."
"This seems to be an unusual dream, compared to the others, but I take it to mean that he was in contact with that part of his mind which is of a higher function—the conscience, the good advice-giver,the all-knowing part—which had been all so disconnected from his day by day functioning. In any case, it sounded like a very positive type of awareness which he needed to have."
On April 17, the day before my visit, he indicated that he wanted to know more about Villa Street and this was the item I was able to use to get into the age regression session.
A dream of the evening before I saw him (April 17) was:
"I was playing with my twin, not identical on either Ravine or Villa Street. Were running down the street, playing games, laughing, we shared a lot, we were kids, our mother came to the front door of our house and called me to come into the house, but she didn’t call my brother. I went in and tried to explain that he was still outside, she wouldn’t let me finish what I was saying, she slapped me and sent me to my room."
"Here we have a very clear description of his imaginary playmate the day before I interviewed him. Therefore, this seems rather clear that I did not suggest the imaginary playmate idea to him, since he had it the day before I first saw him."
A dream on April 18, the evening between our two visits, is quite enlightening and was discussed during the following visit.
On April 21, two days after my visit, he reported a dream where he was walking through a wooded area to a pond and to a towering mountain with a peak above the clouds. He climbed that mountain, now and then looking back to see how far he had gone, and finally reached the peak. It is rather strange, but I use this particular imagery a great many times to help people reach a part of the mind where that wise advisor is, the one who was described in an earlier dream. It appears as if he is spontaneously, without any suggestion, going to a higher level of mental awareness where the answers are more apparent to him and where the guidance is available to help him handle what he must become aware of. Then he makes this comment:
"I have been thinking a lot about this imaginary playmate I apparently had, trying to remember."
"I somehow felt when I talked to Steve that he was bi-sexual to an extent, that he had sex with no real feelings, just an angry drive."
"One night in California I was sitting in my apartment watching TV, the next thing I remember is my cousin Angelo getting out of my car closing the door and walking away. I went to open my door to ask him what I was doing there but I changed my mind mostly of my own confusion. This sort of thing has happened a lot."
Here again, we have a period of amnesia for while he was out with Angelo in Los Angeles, probably strangling one of the women in Los Angeles, as Steve.
On April 22, he makes the comment about his drawings, being a satisfying, enjoyable, therapeutic activity. This again is part of the artistic nature that all multiples seem to have. They all do poetry, paintings, writing or some other creative work.
His next note is:
"I didn’t kill anybody, before this would have been as confusing as usual, but I can basically handle the idea of What I am accused of. You can separate the mind, but its impossible to separate the body."
" This sentence speaks for itself and I think is a fantastic bit of awareness that he was able to handle at this time."
The last sheet in this diary is dated late evening, April 24, 1979, and is in a handwriting that appears to be somewhat different than all the others. His regular handwriting is rather neat and up right. This is more ragged and does not appear to be quite the same. It is a rather thorough confession regarding his then new awareness of how Angelo and Steve had killed the women in Los Angeles:
"In L.A. the girls were all approached as Angelo Buono and Steve (as Ken) posed as police officers. All but one, the first, were sexually molested and killed in Angelo’s house. The first one was killed in a car Angelo was upholstering. Handcuffs were used to restrain them. Most girls were gagged and blindfolded. All their clothes and possessions were put in bags and thrown in Angelo’s trash bin. The girls were picked up at random. I can’t see particular faces just shadows and knowledge of what took place. The one girl that was lured to my old apartment building was told it was for an ontcall [sic] job, Angelo was driving a white mustang he had parked in the basement parking lot. Steve strangled some, Angelo strangled some, the only one I’m positive Steve killed is the first. It’s such a horrible thing why am I remembering all this. I feel like Steve’s surrendering. About the girls here, Steve, through me, called Karen and set up the house sitting deal. Steve met the girls on Bayside took them into the basement to show them around pushed them on the floor and held a gun on them (but my gun, as best as I remember, was in my closet) weird! Steve put one in the bathroom and one in the bedroom, after they were tied up. Both girls were sexually molested, Steve used a prophylactic. After they were strangled they were carried upstairs and put in the back of the car, and driven to the cul-de-sac I have memories but they only go back so far now. God forgive me."
"I believe this was done the night that he became rather hysterical in jail and his attorney and Mr. Johnson were called by the deputies to come to be with him, as the details of the murders were coming through from the Steve part of his mind to the Ken part."
On May 16, 1979, he notes:
"I believe that reality is a good teacher if you pay attention and face up to it. I also never realized that bad or uncomfortable experiences are also good teachers. Much can be learned by experiencing and taking time to slow down and live."
"It would seen that he is becoming able to pay attention to the realities of his existence, including his feelings, attitudes and experiences, and this is, of course, a very good sign that he is gaining control over his negative aspects."
"I have been noting that temperature changes affect me differently now than four mos. ago. Before 78 degrees was comfortable now the middle or high 60 ’ s is comfortable."
This is hard to evaluate but I have known that alter-personalities commonly had different usual body temperatures—some were warm, some were cold, some were in the middle—and, of course, if integration or fusion is coming about, then this is going to change as the whole energy system as the body changes. So, this could signify an integration is in process.
A dream on May 17:
"Another dream I had was I was a construction worker, helping to build a large, tall office building. I was a welder. Up quite high, sky was blue it was great;"
One could think that he is talking about the new person that he is building, constructing himself again, with the various parts that have been unconnected for so many years.
On May 18 , he has a note:
"I must note at this time that several physical and emotional changes have taken place with me. This is many examples. Temperatures; before just recently, 77 degrees to 79 degrees was comfortable, now the middle or high 60’s is comfortable. I watch TV and I can’t stand to watch horror or shows with a lot of violence, they are boring and disgusting. I have one pair of boxer shorts, and all the restare briefs, even though I still wear the briefs, the boxers are much more comfortable, the briefs are not. As far as hygiene goes, I can’t seem to get my teeth clean enough, I have become a fanatic, and I spent a lot of time on my skin problems, I never really used to. My attitudes about clothing has changed. Coffee used to make my stomach upset, now I can drink 10 or 15 cups and I enjoy every cup."
"Here again, we may have evidence of some of the physical changes that occur if integration or fusion is going on. A change in body temperatures is one, a change in taste for coffee may be another one-the different habits of hygiene may be another one, and the liking for certain kinds of shorts may be another."
On May 19, he reports a dream:
"The dream I had last night involved coming [sic] an animal that was a cross between a wild boar and a collie. Whenever I’d get close it would attack my right arm, jumping and biting. It withdrew for a little bit. I felt that this animal was just scared. I went toward it with a hand outstretched in friendship and the animal didn’t attack. I was able to pet it and it was calm."
We could theorize that this mixture of a wild animal and a pet dog could represent again the mixture he is becoming between the Steve personality and the Ken personality and, realizing that a tremendous hostility and anger might be from being frightened and then attacking the world because of that fright. Also, the fact that he is willing to come toward the personality in firm friendship may be the way that he knew he could conquer it.
On May 20, he says:.,
"I don’t feel the same as I did before, about my mother, I don’t feel attached to her needs or wants. I feel detached and independent for the first time. I still love her but I sure wish she’d get help."
Here we have a very important change in attitude about his mother, who was a key stimulus for all of this internal conflict and, if he can feel unrelated to her in regard to meeting her needs to be a good boy and avoid being a bad boy, then he certainly has made a major step in being himself.
On May 21, he reports:
"I guess what I have been trying to express is that for some reason I feel full of energy, more energy than I have ever had, as far back as I can remember.’
This, again, may be a result of some degree of integration be cause it takes a great deal of energy to keep personalities separate and, when they do get together, it could be almost like the theory of the hydrogen atom fusion—that when you put the pieces together, all of the energy that has been keeping them apart is now freed and available for more constructive use.
On May 21, he also writes:
"I can’t help but to think of how many things have been removed from my existing as a human being and a member of society. Aside from my geographical freedoms, I do feel like a caged animal. I understand the reasons for my being here, but sometimes I just don’t understand like I should. I have been a hostage of myself for too many years. I want help, and help is a million miles away, first I must be disected [sic], and probed. I realize this is necessary, As my luck goes now that I have come to a lot of realizations regarding my childhood and my illness, and this previous memory loss has become an awareness, I’ll probably have to sit here six months more. I’ve gotten used to adapting under the existing conditions, however, one thing that appears as a towering mountain is loneliness. I feel loneliness not only for myself but also for the families of the girls. Time doesn’t heal all, just makes certain feelings liveable [sic]. I wish there were some way the guilty part of me could stay where it belongs and the other part of me leave to join my son and try to reunite with Kelli. But this is very unrealistic. Will I ever get used to the clanging of metal upon metal? The alienation? Why has God led me to this way?"
I think these comments speak for themselves and no interpretation is necessary.
May 22, the following dream was reported:
"I was in my cell and Dean, Kelli and some other people were at my door. They were unknown to me. The prosecutor was at my side, I was ordered to stand up on a stool, a rope was put around my neck and the stool was pulled away."
Again, it takes no wisdom to realize that he is having dreams of what his future could be if the final penalty for murder is carried out.
On May 22, he comments as follows:
"I feel so much sorrow, and it takes so much good to keep me going like fresh batteries. My conscience is a burning, painful ember I’m afraid it’ll never burn out, I want to stand up and tell my life story to the world, hoping that maybe parents who are abusing their children will stop and think twice. There are probably many, many serious cases of multiple personality existing or developing and somebody has got to come forth and try and help instead of ignore. God created all life to come into this world the same, pure and innocent. Why do parents blemish this great miracle of life?"
Once again, no comments are necessary to illuminate this statement.
I want to make one comment on the audiotape of Dr. Watkins’ induction of hypnosis, when he first met Steve after talking to Ken about his history. There could be a great deal of controversy about Dr. Watkins’ strong suggestions that there should be manifested, in hypnosis, a part of the mind that did not agree with Ken’s basic moral code. His actual words were:
"Now that you’re relaxed, Ken, I want you to stay in your deeply relaxed state, but I would like to kind of talk to you. And I’ve talked with Ken but I think that perhaps there might be another part of Ken that I haven’t talked to, another part of him that, maybe, feels somewhat differently from the part I’ve talked to. And I would like to communicate with that other part. And I would like that other part to come to talk to me, and when it’s here, then the left hand will lift up off the chair to indicate to me that that other part is here that I would like to talk to. Part, will you please come to communicate with me? When you’re here, lift the left hand off the chair to signal to me that you are here. would you please come, Part, so that I could talk to you? Another part, that is not the same as the part of Ken that I’ve been talking to. Would you lift the hand to indicate to me that you are here, when you are here, and ready to communicate with me? Part, will you come and lift Ken’s hand to indicate to me that you are here?"
This is going to raise some honest differences of opinion as to the part that Dr. Watkins’ statements played in what finally evolved ! and those questions are valid. They do not, however, explain away all of the past history. They do not explain away the manner in which Steve operated with me. I tried very hard, in my examination, not to suggest anything to him, although it was impossible not to offer comments to show that I understood what he was saying. These were not suggestions that he should believe my way I do not feel that he felt he had to agree with me.
The only point at which I felt I might have suggested anything at all under hypnosis was when he was talking, in age regression at age nine, about hiding under his bed. When I asked him if he hid inside of his head, that was a leading question, but I do not feel that it negates any of what happened next. I base this upon the fact that, in many patients that are multiple, I have said quite incorrect things under hypnosis, and they have simply refused to agree with me. They are extremely stubborn while, at the same time, being highly suggestible in hypnosis. I have tried many times to suggest some positive changes in ideas and these have been resisted with great vigor. One cannot say, just because they are hypnotizable, that they are highly suggestible in regard to new ideas and behavior. This is simply not true. This marked contradiction exists between hypnotizability and suggestibility in multiples, when we are talking about basic attitudes and ways of acting. This is not at all well-understood, but we must remember we are talking here about a person with a severe mental disorder. We are not talking about healthy college students who are being studied in laboratory conditions under hypnosis and who may be easily suggested into various ways of thinking, acting and feeling. A multiple has already become programmed by parents in very definite ways of thinking, acting and feeling, and suggestions from one examiner are not taken to heart at all readily. It is only after a long period of therapeutic relationship that the multiple begins to change in response to attempts to please a therapist or to identify with his more positive attitudes about life.
I hope this supplemental report will be helpful without being too confusing. After I get the results of the computer-interpreted CPI’s and MMPI, I shall discuss my analyses of those documents
RALPH B. ALLISON, M.D., INC.
RALPH B. ALLISON, M. D.
i am so threatened by pretty girls they are terrifying
one time I fell in love for a girl she had freckles and nice eyes I wrote her a small poem and gave her a nacre shell she said “thank you but I like another boy” and as I fell for her I fell apart and thought I would never ever fall in love again